I am somehow irritated like crap. I feel like squishing strawberries and throwing them at someone's face.

I really don't know what wrong I did. Maybe it was my fault for loving someone so much. ARGH.

I have to find a way to be more self- reliant and not depend on him for everything.

I have to find a way to stop thinking about him 24/7.

I have to find a way to stop my needs to meet him almost 3 times a week.

I have to find a way to stop being a bitch and not sacrificing anything for him and giving him all the attitude.

Why do I bother changing for him. Because I love him.

Why do I bother controlling my voice in public. Because I love him.

Why do I bother trying to make him happy, although to no avail? Because I love him.

You say girls are hard to please, take a look at you males. They frighten the lives out of us girls sometimes.

This isn't the kind of life I wanna live in, rather wish to be dead.

Sometimes I really wonder if life was worth living for, then when I look at your smile, I find the answer for myself.

Thank you for being my eyes when I went blind, thank you for picking me up whenever I fall. Thank you for teaching me everything I need to know in life.

I love you Raphael Royston Teo Ting Zhi.

NY is like.... 12 hours away from here! I totally didn't know.

Anyway, Deirdre's house after school today and challenged Glenn to Viwawa. Fucking funny. Headed to Emman's place in the evening to waste my time & wait for Raph to finish his zombie game. HAHA.

I want to watch a movie. Any recommendations?

Sigh, I'm finally getting to meet Love today.

I miss him so much.

I'm going back to bed now, goodnight and goodbye.

Haven't been posting lately!

Passion play on Good Friday was great, didn't freak out that much (:
I'm really gonna miss the rest though. Miss the rehearsals and all the time we spent together playing Zip Zap and doing weird warmups, HAHA!


HAHA I think that last picture is damn funny.

Okay anyway I am starting to hate school a lil' cos I get too tired and lethargic in class :/ then I'll either doze off or start talking to Apple & Deir, especially MATH ERGH TAN THUAN HOCK.

Nevermind. Anaemia getting worse man I have like an MC to skip NAPHA tomorrow. HEHEHE. Best okay. I don't know if I can skip 2.4............. HMMMM

Oh well I've got to go Compass soon to return library books and get my assessments, damn it.

Whatever. I love Raph, gooodbye! (:

You know how retarded people can be sometimes to tell you jokes and they laugh at themselves? That's what Cara is. She's so cute (:
Didn't sleep till 4 last night, was up talking away.

I am sick. But I can't sleep, my head hurts like crap.
I miss you, like hell.




You don't even know how special you are

Okay what is with the whole damn world asking me "WHY YOUR POST SO EMO?"
I didn't even know it was emo. I was just typing out what I felt.
Anyway, the past few days haven't been good. I got through with my super high fever, constantly rising and dropping at the same time.

And then I saw ____'s blog for the first time today and I was like WHOA. Aye nobody will understand me cos I can't really tell anyone about it.
I don't really like my life right now, it's weird. I think too much. But I laugh too much in school anyway. Recess today was the planning of Andy Ng's murder. Thank you very much.

I'm still very pissed now cos ____ is still here. Raph you should know who.
I think the only thing that is making me stay happy is Hallie & her strawberries. HAHA.
Cara's staying over tonight for her birthday! Too bad I've got rehearsal and I can't gossip with her until I'm back from church.

NAPHA is coming up next week. Oh my gosh die I SWEAR. 've been skipping PE for the past few days cos of anaemia and rest so I'm lagging. I think I should just get ready to fail.

Deirdre and Apple are keeping an eye on me and slapping me everytime I say the words "God", "Fuck", "Jesus"," Christ", "Lord" and whatever else. Apparently recently I get slapped in school a lot.

I feel random. I am supposed to be doing my Social Studies or else Mr V is gonna call up my folks but NOOOOO I am still here bullshitting hoping that someone will sms me.

I always wonder why I'll become extremely pessimistic over things that happened whenever I'm tired. This matter is seriously bothering me. I think I should go see a psychiatrist or counsellor.

Midyears are coming up real soon, I'm gonna start mugging.

Love you, more than anything else in the world.